Old People Are Funny

So.

I was about to have lunch in this nice little cafe with my friend yesterday. The place was a bit off from the busiest parts of the city, peaceful, seemingly mostly occupied by people so ancient that I can only assume it is indeed possible to simply get demended enough to forget to die.

Got myself a panini and sat down at a table.

Two seconds later there was a kind of sharp clickety-clickety-click and something zipped into existence right next to us.

Old lady: "You know, you two look just like my parents."
Me(outraged): "Well, I never!"
OL: "Where you from, young man?"
Me: "Finland?"
OL: "Oh, that be in northern Europe, innit? You all Russian there, aren't ya?"
Me: "Well..."
OL: "And where you from, little lady?"
My friend: "I come from Japan!^^"
OL: "Aa, you know Pearl Harbor, then?"

Then she started her monologue.

Fifteen minutes later she was still going strong, endlessly swinging back and forth on her two crutches, like some kind of post-polio orangutan.

OL: "--Now, back in the 60s I met this man in Auckland, who really got me started with my writing career. Let's see now. Ahmed. Ahmed he was called. A fierce, fierce man, he was! You see, back in those days we were quite poor, and of course I had already a long history of different ailments that had really put my body down the bad way, let me tell you! And for a girl like me, who got her education in German, it wasn't too easy to find proper employment as a teacher, but luckily there was the time, when I was learning to use them early word pro-cess-ing machines and ended up writing this poem about mice that people back then really liked... where was I now? Ah right, counterfeit passports. You see--"

I think we could still be sitting there, listening to her, had we not finished our food and excused ourselves (repeatedly, maybe up to 15 times, and even then she tried giving us her address so that we could visit her for more delightful conversationing).

In a way it was a pity to end the "conversation", because towards the end she really started gaining momentum. I especially remember this snippet paraphrased below.

OL: "Do you reckon that Obama in the you-night-ed States will live very long? I really don't think so. It's such a shame, after Bush. Both the senior and the junior. Horrible people... You know, he is half from Kenya, black father, was it now.. He also did drugs when he was younger. I'm really into politics, see? People are always saying that I has a very keen eye, can see what it's all about, see? Did you know that there are some presidents in States who were jews? Like Roosevelt! Imagine that! With their huge noses and moneygrubbing! Of course they always change their name so that people will accept them, but it doesn't really change it, does it? Always be on guard for'em!"
Me: "Sorry, but... did you say before, that you are working for Amnesty International?"
OL: "Oh, yes! Such an interesting work! I also do gardening, since after retiring I always have so much time--"